A Bum
by xBleedingBlackRosex
Summary: Kurt makes a thoroughly embarrassing misunderstanding. Just a short little Klaine fic containing sandwiches, awkward tension, and loads of laughs. Enjoy!


**This is for my subconscious Yelah. I promised to write this for her in exchange for...Well, I don't actually remember what I got from it. But anywho, enjoy this crackfic! XD Yelah thought it up after one of our regular runs to Subway. It was fun to write something a little less serious. Okay, a LOT less serious.**

…

Kurt sighed.

"I'm going to miss you," he groaned remorsefully, wrapping his arm around Mercedes's shoulders casually as they exited the local sandwich deli. It was Sunday, the day before Kurt was due to start at Dalton. Mercedes insisted that they spend the afternoon together. They were going to head over to the mall next and Kurt was doubtlessly going to blow all his spending money on clothing he would no longer be able to wear. He had bemoaned the uniforms while on the phone with Mercedes numerous times already, and he wasn't even attending Dalton yet.

"You don't _have_ to go!" Mercedes teased, bumping his hip with her own.

He laughed and nudged her back. But they both knew he would still go. It was no longer safe enough to stay at McKinley, and once Kurt explained the extent of the bullying and threats to his best friend, she completely understood his decision.

Still, that didn't mean she wouldn't miss him any less.

"I'm going to buy you a new scarf," she decided on the spot, taking a giant bite out of her meatball sandwich.

Kurt chuckled, unwrapping his arm around her to take a bite of his own lunch – just a simple turkey wrap. "That sounds lovely, Mercedes! But I won't be able to wear it..."

"You'll wear it when you come back to visit!" she insisted, unperturbed, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. "Just because you're going to a private school two hours away now doesn't mean I don't expect weekly updates on your life! Hell, since I won't see you around school anymore, I'm bumping it up to _daily_ updates, White Boy!"

He burst out laughing again, and she followed suit. "You got it, Mercedes. I'll text you every night with a play-by-play of my day. I'm sure _that_ won't get old or anything..." He rolled his eyes.

And then something caught his eye.

A young man was sitting on the curb up ahead a little ways, arms locked loosely around his knees, gazing blankly at the road in front of him. He had dark, unruly curls and a light shadow of stubble. His outfit was simple, bland in Kurt's opinion, but nothing too horrid. If he was homeless, then he clearly hadn't been so for long.

Kurt was going to pass right by him, but then the stranger happened to glance up at them, and his breath caught. He was _gorgeous_. And those eyes – red-rimmed, evidence of recent tears – bore into him, swirling orbs of brown and gold and green. They told of a long story, a painful past, a history yet to be revealed. They made Kurt curious.

Mercedes had not noticed him. She kept walking, talking a thousand words a minute about ways he could accessorize his uniform and still stay within the school rules. Kurt, however, paused. Before he could lose his nerve, he crouched down and held out his sandwich.

"Here..."

"Huh?" The young man looked taken aback, baffled. Kurt set the sandwich gently by his side, flashed his kindest smile, and quickly caught up with Mercedes, linking his arm through hers.

"Don't. Say. Anything."

She was pursing her lips, shaking with suppressed laughter. But she did as he said and let it go.

_-THE NEXT DAY-_

Kurt took a deep breath and stepped up to the elderly lady sitting behind the desk.

"Hi, my name's Kurt Hummel, I'm new here..."

She glanced up at him over half-moon glasses and smiled warmly. "Ah, Mr. Hummel, wonderful!" Moving at a sluggish pace, she rustled through some papers scattered across her desk until she found his schedule and handed it over, along with a map of campus, circling with her pen the classrooms he would have to be able to get to.

"First period won't begin for another twenty minutes or so," she added thoughtfully. "Perhaps a tour..." Something caught her eye over Kurt's shoulder, and she called out, "Oh! Blaine! Blaine, m'dear, could you come here for a moment?"

One of the uniformed students came jogging up, a brilliant smile on his face. He had short dark hair, gelled down. He was slightly shorter than Kurt, but even the fashionista had to admit that he looked quite dashing in the blazer.

"Kurt here is a new student at Dalton. I was wondering if you might be willing to give him a quick tour around campus before classes? I'm sure he'd love to have a student's perspective."

"Of course!" he agreed easily, turning to flash Kurt a welcoming smile.

And then they both froze.

_Oh god...It's HIM!_

The silence descended between them like an anvil, crushing both of their windpipes. All they did was stare at one another, practically daring the other to speak first. Kurt could feel heat rising to his cheeks, but he could not look away from those enchanting hazel eyes. Never before had he been so uncomfortable with a boy. Which was really saying something, because he was now living with his straight ex-crush.

Finally, they broke the silence at the same time. "You go here?" they both gasped.

There was an awkward pause. Kurt had the urge to laugh, but he didn't.

"You're the new kid?" Blaine tried again, unable to believe his bad luck. When he heard from Wes and David that a new guy was coming today, he was excited to meet him, hoping vaguely that he would be gay like him. What he hadn't hoped for was the kind young man from the day previous to appear, clad in the familiar Dalton uniform, looking just as pristine as he had on Sunday.

"You're not a homeless bum?" Kurt returned, wide-eyed, astonished.

Another tense pause.

And then the secretary burst into peels of laughter. They turned to her incredulously. Then, after a moment, joined her in her mirth. It _was_ pretty amusing.

"Hi. I'm Blaine," Blaine introduced, his bright smile left over from laughing. He held out his hand, which Kurt shook. "Welcome to Dalton."

"Thanks," Kurt breathed, wiping tears from his eyes with his free hand. "I'm Kurt. What do you say we just start over?"

"Sounds perfect. Come on, I'll show you to the cafeteria..."

The elderly lady watched them go, amusement still dancing in her eyes.

"So..." Kurt began. He glanced sideways at Blaine. "Yesterday...Were you-?"

"I'd hoped nobody would ever see me like that," the shorter boy confessed. Kurt felt the sudden urge to grab his hand, but refrained. Most guys tended to shy away from any physical contact with a 'fag.' "I was...Well, there was just some trouble back at home and I wanted to get away from it. I promise, I'm not usually such a...a slob!" They both laughed. "I don't suppose I could ask you to keep that particular encounter just between us?"

Kurt's heart thrilled at the way he said 'us.' _Shut up_, he scolded himself. _He may not even bat for my team. Knowing my luck, he's straight. And taken. Just play it cool_. "Don't worry, my lips are sealed." And then a thought came to him. "But I'm not so sure Mercedes will stay quiet..."

"Mercedes?" Blaine echoed. "The girl with you yesterday?"

Kurt nodded.

Blaine ran a hand through his hair, then quickly smoothed it back down when he realized what he'd done. "Any chance of bribery working on her?" he wondered, half-jokingly.

Kurt grinned. _He has a gorgeous smile_, Blaine found himself thinking. "It's possible...That would mean you'd have to meet her again, though."

"Would you be willing to introduce us?" Blaine asked before he could stop himself.

And now Kurt's smile was positively dazzling. _This guy honestly wants to hang out with me?_ "I'd love to! I can bring you back to my hometown sometime and have you meet everyone. Although I suggest looking a little more like _this_ than how you looked yesterday," he teased. "You might end up with a dozen more sandwiches!"

They both broke down into laughter, which echoed down the corridors, turning heads. But they did not care if they drew attention.

It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

…

**Got a little cheesy at the end there, huh? Here, have some crackers.**

**Darren Criss: "I'm a bum. Oh my god, you guys are interviewing a _bum_!"**

**Kisses,**

**~Ripple**


End file.
